Genital Jousting has pulled out of Early Access into full launch! You can now play with yourself (in the fully narrated single player mode, The Story of John).
Genital Jousting Full Launch!
GENITAL JOUSTING FULL LAUNCH!
18 JANUARY 2018
Genital Jousting pulls out of Early Access and goes Full Release on Thursday 18 January!
Sorry about being so quiet for so long on the development front, but we've been working on a massive content update behind the scenes - in the form of a fully narrated single player story mode. Expect an hour and a half of tasteful dick jokes, told over tastelessly wobbly penis action.
At the same time, the price will increase to $6.99 at launch, an increase we hope is more than justified by the extra playtime, content and love we've put into it.
You can still enjoy the variety of party modes with 8 other penises, on your couch or over the internet, plus unlock a variety of adorable outfits to dress your flaccid willy up with. All of that goodness is still in Genital Jousting, plus this extra experience for those who just want a quiet time playing with their own dick.
THE (FULLY NARRATED) SINGLE PLAYER STORY MODE
Play as John, a dick who wants to find a date for his high school reunion.
He'll need some help along the way. He's wobbly, he's soft. But he wants to be hard. So very hard. He wants to show everyone his astounding rigidity. And with your help, that's exactly what he'll do.
GENITAL JOUSTING PLUSHIE!
Wrap your hands around the new Genital Jousting plush with squirty sfx and a STEAM CODE for the game ahead of the launch for $30!
10% OFF at checkout until Official Game Launch on January 18th!!
The perfect gift for any situation. Halloween, Burning Man, Mother's Day, Team Building Exercises, Retrenchments, First Dates, Divorces. Any situation!
Thank you, as always, for your support!
GORN Early Access Update 2
FLYING FISTS OF FURY!
This update we're introducing some of our most-requested weapons in the form of caestus.
Each champion you defeat unlocks a new pair of caestus which you can then use in any of the game modes.
Currently unlockable are the Punch, Claw, Grapple, Mobility and Throwing Knife Caestu...ses? Caesti? Caesu?... Gloves!
In the last update, we introduced local multiplayer as an undocumented extra feature for custom modes. Following up on feedback, we've taken that and polished it into a local multiplayer Party Mode!
We've also spent some time refining the controls for the gladiators and brought back VSIM-style controls, 1998's greatest gaming innovation. Settle who gets to go into VR next the GORN way!
▪ Facelift for features in the cell and arena
▪ The character animation and physics have been redone from scratch using an entirely different method. The changes are subtle but very significant, and will allow us to do more with the character going forward. We have an actual simulation of a character's strength now, which wasn't present before, for example.
▪ For those who prefer their killing with less violence, we've improved the Low Violence mode in GORN with new textures and effects, because everyone knows beating the crap out of a piñata is okay.
▪ For those who prefer their killing with more violence, we've adding gibbing and more organs for you to explode!
▪ The Quarterstaff and non-unlockable Spiked Baseball bat have also been added to the game
FEEEEEEEED US WITH FEEDBACK!
If there are things that you like and dislike, let us know! You can post on the Steam forums, the subreddit, or even chat directly to us on the Discord.
Steam forums: steamcommunity.com/app/578620/discussions/
SALUTE AND DO BATTLE!
GORN EARLY ACCESS: BADGERMANCER UPDATE!
Per-weapon score attack trials that you unlock alongside each weapon!
Test your skills with each weapon in the new TRIALS mode accessible by pressing the button by each weapon’s unlock display. Each weapon has a unique trial.
We’re testing out this idea, so feedback is welcomed! Which are your favourite and least favourite trials? Are they too long, or too short? Eventually we’d like to add some small unlockable for each, a harder mode for each, as well as leaderboards when the game is closer to completion.
CUSTOM GAME MODE!
A “custom game” mode with dozens of settings to tweak!
After unlocking endless mode and obtaining at least 15 kills, a new floor is unlocked where you can tweak various game settings.
Game too easy, or too hard? Want to beat up on a bunch of tiny but giant-headed man-babies? No gravity? Immortal(ish) enemies? Want to see what life would be like as a GORN spectator and just watch gladiators go at it? Maybe experience what it’d be like to be the world’s deadliest ant? Now you can finally get the GORN experience you’ve always wanted!
Suggestions for new custom game options are also welcomed!
ASYMMETRIC LOCAL MULTIPLAYER!
Other people can play along using gamepads!
You can now take control of enemy gladiators in the Custom modes! Play with up to FOUR players, with or against the VR player as a GORN gladiator!
Simply press “START” on any XBox gamepad connected to the computer while in Custom to activate this mode.
We’re testing this out and will still make refinements to the mode, so feedback is welcomed. Our favourite way to play is “Crawl” mode - whoever manages to defeat the VR player gets the next turn in VR.
TWO NEW CHAMPIONS!
Face down the most nimble and elusive Champion to ever set foot in the arena, or cower in terror before the awesome might of the mysterious BADGERMANCER!
Hundreds of physics improvements to weapons and enemies!
Man, we don’t even know where to start…
- Two handed weapons re-designed and rebuilt from scratch. They should behave FAR more consistently, especially in the hands of enemy gladiators. The hammer has been buffed significantly and is now deemed OP by testers (just like every other weapon in the game)! This is the first time we’ve felt that the two handed weapons behave close to how they should, so we’re pretty stoked.
- The spear is now far more powerful as a stabbing weapon and can now be used to lift enemies off the ground!
- On a related note, you can now deal damage by smashing enemies against the terrain!
- All weapons have been tweaked to be less “springy”, and feel stronger and heavier. Flailing is slightly less effective than before.
- Significant but subtle changes to how damage and knock calculations are performed - hopefully to be a bit more consistent than before.
- Enemies are less jiggly, have more moveable parts, and have had their attacks tweaked.
- FAR fewer random physics explosions (though some do still occur).
- Arena knockouts behave more consistently.
- Should be easier to grab the thing that you intend to off the ground!
- Better combo potential with fists/nunchucks.
- Disarm enemies by damaging their hands!
- Stab consistency improvements.
- And plenty of other stuff we’ve forgotten...
MASSIVE PERFORMANCE IMPROVEMENTS!
The game runs at a higher framerate overall, and the times when the FPS spikes has been reduced. In addition, there are some basic quality settings now to help address this.
- New options for easy mode - you deal a little bit of extra damage, and time slows down whenever you get hit.
- New options for locomotion - switch the GORN style movement to use the grip button for Vive users, and we’ve added an option to have a control to rotate your playspace for those without 360 tracking setups. The controls on Rift should also make a bit more sense.
- Quality options - If you’re still having framerate issues, these might help. If you do have framerate issues, let us know if these options help or not!
GRAPHICS OVERHAUL! EVEN MORE BLOOD!!
Our art team has been kicking ass and so we have new art for the enemies and a whole overhaul of the arena! Common theme here - let us know what you think. Early Access yay!
New blood! We initially changed it for performance reasons, but we really do prefer the new look! Also it allows us to have MORE BLOOD!
THIRD PERSON CAMERA!
Press SPACE to toggle camera angle and to check out your friend’s sweet moves in glorious third person perspective!
Use WASDEQ to control the motion of the camera.
DIFFICULTY AND OTHER GAMEPLAY TWEAKS
Although we didn’t have time to give the campaign structure a proper re-work this update, we’ve still addressed a few bugs and issues that caused later levels to be harder than intended. There is much more to do on this front, but it’s certainly much better in this update.
We’ve also addressed a few issues with the archer enemies that should make them a bit more consistent, and the arrows should be easier to dodge and counterplay (without a shield).
We’ve also re-worked how player damage and death works - now, if you get hit, you have some time to score a revenge kill to recover. Each hit makes your recovery time less, so you’ll still need to be careful! Hopefully this system feels less arbitrary than the two hit system, and scales a bit better so that single enemy fights aren’t stupidly easy and multiple enemies aren’t stupidly hard. Again, we are jonesing for your feedback and comments on this, so don’t be shy.
NO NEW WEAPONS?!?
Yes, unfortunately, no new weapons in this update.
We felt we wanted to address some underlying issues and lack of endgame before trying to “widen” the game by adding more content. Rest assured that we’ve already started some work on new weapons, and the next update will be very much focused on new weapons and champions.
FEEEEEEED US WITH FEEDBACK!
All of the changes in this update were driven by fan requests and feedback (except the honey badger, which probably wasn’t requested only because everyone already knew it should be the dev’s top priority). So please, if there are things that you like and dislike, let us know! You can post on the Steam forums, the subreddit, or even chat directly to us on the Discord.
Steam forums: steamcommunity.com/app/578620/discussions/
SALUTE AND DO BATTLE!
Genital Jousting Fan Art Competition: THE WINNERS!
Since we launched Genital Jousting on Steam Early Access late last year, the game has been purchased by well over 200 000 players, which is pretty amazing! We decided to celebrate by holding a fan art competition between June and July 2017, with over $2000 in cash prizes up for grabs.
The quantity and quality of fan art received completely overwhelmed us. Thank you to everyone who participated!
We may use a few of our favourite submissions for trading cards, other Steam Art, in promotional material or in game.
"STEAM TRADING CARD" CATEGORY WINNERS
Winners of the "Steam Trading Cards" category will each receive $50:
Cael Fernando Saraiva Pinheiro
Nathália Belzunces Bernardelli
Lucas Fernando Lima Bastos
Gustavo de Assis Bringel
Denilson Tomoyuki Sato
Pedro Duarte Damasceno Pereira
Patricio Clemente Dantas de Oliveira
THIRD PRIZE: $250
Congratulations Roman Dubina!
SECOND PRIZE: $500
Congratulations Simone le Roux!
GRAND PRIZE WINNER: $1000
Congratulations Luke Horowitz!
WHAT WE'VE BEEN UP TO...
It's been a little while since our last Early Access Update (Wet Hot Summer Update 30 May). We are working ever so hard on a major final installment to the Genital Jousting experience, and we can't wait to share it with you! We want to keep it as much of a surprise as we can...but in the meantime, here's a sneak peek at what's in store to whet your appetite:
Thank you, as always, for your support! <3
Genital Jousting Fan Art Competition Judging: Day 2
Find out who makes the shortlist in Day 2 of the Genital Jousting Fan Art Competition judging!
Genital Jousting Fan Art Competition Judging: Day 1
ALL THE ENTRIES!
The Genital Jousting Fan Art Competition ran from June to July 2017, with over $2000 in prize money to be won. We received over 200 entries!! In day one, we show you the incredible scope of artwork received.
Join us tomorrow to find out who makes the shortlist!
Genital Jousting Fan Art Submissions!
GORN LAUNCHES ON STEAM EARLY ACCESS!
GORN is launching on Steam Early Access today! It's on SALE for one week, at $14.99 (usual price $19.99).
GORN is a ludicrously violent VR gladiator simulator, made by Free Lives, the developers of Broforce and Genital Jousting. Featuring a unique, fully physics driven combat engine, GORN combatants will be able to creatively execute their most violent gladiatorial fantasies in virtual reality.
Savagely strike down an infinite supply of poorly-animated opponents with all manner of weapons – from swords, maces and bows to nunchuks, throwing knives, massive two-handed warhammers or even your blood-soaked bare hands. The only limits to the carnage are your imagination and decency, in the most brutal and savage VR face-smashing game ever produced by man.
Get GORN on sale for $14.99 on Steam Early Access now!
If it's been a while since you last played an alpha build of GORN, you might want to do some warm up stretches.
GORN LAUNCH TRAILER
It's been awesome hearing all of your stories about accidental destruction during GORN play (we've bruised a few team members and broken more than a few things, ourselves).
Your experiences were largely the inspiration behind the shooting of our "live action" trailer.
If you enjoyed the trailer, check out our Behind The Scenes (ahem, "Screams") video where we take you through the making of it:
THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
As always, a massive thank you to everyone who has shown us support - if it weren't for you, we wouldn't be making this game.
WE LOVE HEARING FROM YOU
Genital Jousting Wet Hot Summer Update!
Early Access Update 3
The new Wet Hot Summer Update for Genital Jousting on Steam [http://store.steampowered.com/app/469820] brings a throbbing orgy of new content including SIX new party modes, five stylish new outfits, and a buttload of fun for up to eight players locally or online. Get ready to tangle with your friends in wild modes like Sexy Car Wash, VolleyBalls, Get Pumped and Spa Day!
GENITAL JOUSTING FAN ART COMPETITION!
Since we launched Genital Jousting on Steam Early Access late last year, the game has been purchased by nearly 200 000 players, which is pretty amazing!
“Genital Jousting has exceeded all sales forecasts and expectations which, if we’re being honest, were all at zero,” noted Devolver Digital CFO Fork Parker. “But like my grandmother always said, people love them some penises and buttholes.”
We are celebrating this milestone with a Genital Jousting Fan Art contest. For longtime fans and curious newcomers alike, you have until the end of July to submit us your phallic masterpieces of original fan art! Click on the page below to check out the deets:
Artwork by Ben Voldman
We put out a patch for you guys a few weeks ago, fixing some bugs, and probably adding more.
We were finally able to solve the penis de-materialization in Sportsball, so it's back in Party Mode!
We also made Date Night a more classy experience, with a much reduced chance of your date disappearing on you half way through bowling. *May not apply in real life.
BEHIND THE CURTAIN
For the last few months we've been working on some secret new content that you'll definitely finally get to see in game by latest Summer 2048.